Responsibility is not a four letter word. Really, it isn’t. Taking responsibility means owning your power and stepping away from victim hood. We all of ways of being that get in our way of making the choices that will help us get there, yet we are responsible for healing those parts of us in order to live the life we want. If we want to take our power back it is up to us to do the work, to take the steps that will heal us, free us, and empower us to live the life we want.
It is important to identify the patterns we have created and the purposes they serve in our lives. Sometimes we find ourselves continually “triggered” by someone’s actions. This can be a wonderful opportunity to look at what is going on within us that is causing this reaction. In all honesty, we do not create these patterns with the intention of being stuck. Rather, they are created to keep us safe and in a familiar situation where we can be surrounded by the known instead of the unknown. What are the patterns and what purpose do they serve? Frequently, we find that these patterns do not serve the purpose for which they were intended. I use to always feel alone and I would never reach out for support when I needed it. I continually found myself feeling rejected and unlovable. When I did the work to look at this dynamic I discovered I kept myself isolated to not feel rejected or unlovable but there I was feeling that way. This was self-defeating and a self-fulfilling paradigm that kept me stuck. There I was in victim hood, struggling to find someone blame. When we develop a way of being in order to keep us safe we find that we are not, in fact, safe. We are simply in an unsafe situation that we have become accustomed to.
The next thing that will help us find our freedom is to take steps to heal the pain/trauma that prompted us to create the patterns in the first place. This is not always easy. Identifying these patterns and their root causes can be enough to make the changes that will transform our lives. Other times there is deep long-term core work that we need to undergo in order to achieve the changes we are seeking.
Long-term work does not mean postponing changes. We ask ourselves, “What do I want to do differently?” If you want freedom from a job or relationship or if you are seeking more fulfillment and connection in your life you need to create small steps. This can feel risky! Thoughts of failure, worthiness and ability can come up and block us from the path we have created. This is where the old patterns emerge, trying to keep us in the rut we have been living in.
If you find yourself blocked, it is important to look at what emotions are blocking you and what behaviors are preventing you from moving forward. Working through these blocks and behaviors are part of working through the trauma. Keep working on it. Freedom is just around the corner.
Through this healing process (I recommend working with a professional if you find you are having difficulty doing it on your own) you will find your power, you will find your ability to take responsibility for your actions, behaviors and emotions. Your reactions to other people’s behaviors will no longer have the same effect on your well being. You will find that your inner balance will be determined by you while other people’s actions will not influence your actions. You will learn to detach from others and trust in your own inner knowledge. One small step at a time you will find you can create the life that you have been striving for.
Begin today! You are the one with all the power in your life. You can choose now to take it back. You can take responsibility for the dreams you have been wanting to achieve all your life.